Here are the default life-events categories. Right now they’re just icons, but I thought they needed titles so I invented my own.

Self-improvement:

This timeline category is for bragging about how awesome you are.

Adversity:

This category is for things to include in your college application essays in order to demonstrate you’ve had a rough life but still managed to kill it on the SATs.

Stuff and status:

This category is is about annotating things that you’ve bought… and roommates.

Love and Death:

This category is available so that the juicy awkwardness of announcing your relationship status in your newsfeed can now be applied to losing a loved one.

Level Up:

This category is available so that FB can map its data about your consumer profile onto different phases of your life. Soon to be added categories include: menarche (and its boy counterparts), losing your virginity, gaining the ability to shoot fireballs at goombas, posting lewd pics on twitter that jeopardize your political career, reinventing yourself after said scandal, becoming a vampire.